Love

Loveeeeeee, there’s so many things I got to tell you. Agape is the Greek word for love, as you may or may not know already. It is love that is unconditional, sacrificial, and selfless. I think this is one of the most important parts of the fruit of the Spirit because love allows you to walk in all the other fruits. Love is many things…specifically 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. It is the greatest of all because it makes everything else possible (besides the walking in all other fruits), like forgiveness. That’s with love tho, but what about without it? A lack of self-love makes you an easy target for a nigga to play with you. A lack of love for others shows up in your demeanor or behavior. You can be rude, short, insensitive, disrespectful. So I have been asking myself why does God want us to have it? And maybe because without it you are nothing, have nothing, and feel nothing. He has shown us what true agape looks like and has commanded us to love in this way. Multiple times in scripture, Jesus/God has loved others consistently, selflessly, and sacrificially (1 John 4:7-12). Looking at His actions is a perfect sample of how we should love alongside walking in obedience. How am I loving? I will tell you. I honestly don’t know. Well I mean I do but I think I second guess and overestimate/underestimate how I well I’m loving. I notice when someone says or does things that do not align with what I would say or do in their situation, I get aggravated, irritated, short, overstimulated. I am learning that just because our actions differ does not mean that I should show ill feelings towards them. I am also learning how to give a different response when those times arise. I use to think “why aren’t you able to figure this out on your own,” “I figured it out on my own, can’t you.” Which is very insensitive. I am expecting people to show up the way I show up instead of loving them in their language. Catering to them and how they are and respond to things, instead of thinking how insufficient they can be. I think a part of that can be cause I tend to make their problems my own and another part is cause I lack patience…But that’s just the bad. I think I am great at caring for others and making them feel seen. I love to help, listen, add to their life, and provide advice. I have been asking God to help me love correctly. I mean that’s usually when one does when you feel stagnant in the ripening of your fruit. But the thing about love is it shows you what else you are lacking. Through love, I found that my patience is my weakest, ugliest, funkiest fruit. So maybe God is teaching me how to love more so my patience can grow. Overall I believe I exude love and that it is one of my strongest fruits (I think, I hope, I pray), but having a lot of love doesn’t automatically mean I know how to show it correctly.

Joy (Nehemiah 8:10):

Joy isn't just happiness, it's my middle name. It is also contentment through anything cause you know you have a relationship w/ the Realest. I am joi, I create it along with fun *winks* *blows a kiss*. My humor, aesthetics, love for color and detail, etc. All i have to do is be me and joy/joi follows. blame diane and my Lord & Savior Jesus Christ.

Peace (Isaiah 26:3):

A calmness that stems from a relationship with Him. I am intentional with my space and I protect my peace. Ion have time for the mess #willleaveyoualonequick #alllove #noaccess. A big part of that comes from having a relationship with Him. Knowing that whatever come my way, I will be covered in the blood (Romans 8:28). Discernment play a part too; it helps you know what situations to give energy to. Being able to read a situation is a gift that He has blessed me with...I have no need to worry, think, or b bothered.

Patience:

Introducing my least favorite fruit. She is, in my opinion, one of the most difficult fruits to develop. Patience is the ability to endure and wait with grace, restraint, and a hint of kindness. The Greek word for patience, makrothymia, holds the idea of endurance, forbearance, and long suffering. Even though it is my most underdeveloped fruit, it can be quite empowering. Instead of being reactive, impulsive, and chaotic it shifts your aura to controlled, intentional, beautiful, and strong. Back in the day (1800s maybe?) so much more required waiting. Nowadays, we’re used to instant gratification and I think that makes practicing patience even harder. Patience is connected with waiting, hoping, and trusting. I used to always think it was about sitting around waiting, but it does not quite look like that. Now, I feel like it’s more trusting and hoping in God while waiting (see the connection??? #romans8:25). It can be very frustrating at times, but this is why the way we wait matters. While we waiting on something God has actually promised, we shouldn’t allow impatience, doubt, or other’s opinions talk us out of trusting Him. This can look like many things. Praying, following what He tells us, bible studying, etc. Patience helps us remain steady while our faith is taking test. Without it, we’re more likely to rush, interfere, react with emotion, or give up because God’s timing doesn’t match ours. Kinda sorta definitely like when the Israelites were prepping to go into Canaan and the twelve leaders of each tribe went to explore and spy. They spread a horrible report, except for two, to the rest of their community because of fear. Only Caleb and Joshua held it down. It builds trust in Him, knowing that he will handle whatever no matter whenever. I notice patience affects how well I display my other fruits. It’s harder for me to be gentle, kind, or self controlled when I lack patience. Without the patience and love holding hands, damage becomes inevitable. The very first thing 1 Corinthians 13:4 tells us that love is patient. Having love and patience for others helps keeps you from speaking out of emotion and damaging relationships by protecting you from saying things that will ruin relationships or your reputation. You’re like a beautiful caterpillar wrapped in God’s cocoon, patiently waiting, hoping, trusting that you’ll become a beautiful butterfly, a beauty that you can’t even imagine. That’s the thing about His cocoon, just because you can’t see what’s happening doesn’t mean nothing is happening. There have been many times God has kept His promise to me while in His cocoon. For example, getting accepted into my nursing program. Right now, I’m in his cocoon waiting for something I can not control. I don’t know when or how it will work out, which means I have to actually practice what I preach #dontwantto #butiwill #thefleshwontwin #thisbattleismine. Other than God being the best promise keeper, do I wait patiently? No! Especially in traffic. I get sick and tired of yelling at people going under the speed limit in the left lane or braking for no reason. Then all of a sudden I am yelling “get off the road” or “speed up ugly” or “get out the way piglet!” These things just fly out my mouth easily. This is why I hate driving! Showing patience is so hard when niggas act like they ain’t never studied the rules of the road. Some days, I surprisingly show great patience, but that’s only when I’m sleepy. I know I get impatient because when things are not going my way I get mad and start screaming (on the road) or being extremely quiet and fidgety (on land). I try not to rush things but for some reason it’s hard. This is why this fruit is my most underdeveloped one, she is brown, icky, ugly, and the soil is dry. I want to learn how to wait well. Ion only want patience when I’m sleepy, things are going my way, or when I know the outcome. I want to learn how to trust God’s timing when I’m uncomfortable, tired, irritated, uncertain, or sick of waiting. It’s a slow race, but this turtle will get to the finish line *winks*.

Kindness (Proverbs 31:26)

This is love in action. This comes naturally to me, im a sweetheart, at least thats what my momma say. I care bout how ppl feel and the vibe I give off. I create space for others to exist in my wrld. &&& I choose softness even when the world is so cruel, ignorant, dumb, inconsiderate to a princess like me. But there is times, when i can feel my kindness slipping and irritation getting a grip. That's when I step back, I don't like being mean.

Goodness (Romans 12:21)

This is integrity, honesty, and generosity. We can never be fully good, cause we are sinful at nature. But I try to honor God with my money, time, blog, everything fr. I want others to feel God's love from me, but ofc I fall short. That's why His forgiveness should mean everything to us. Not only are we redeemed through it, but it shows us how graceful He be moving.  

Faithfulness

One of the most highly valued and rare quality….especially in this economy/day and age. The Greek word for faithfulness is pistis meaning steadfastness, trustworthiness, and consistency. A faithful person is dependable, stands on what they say and fulfills their responsibilities…quite like God. He will never let us down or change His ways or who He is to accommodate us because He is faithful. Which is why it baffles me when people twist the word of God to conform to their beliefs or feelings. That’s a topic for another day tho. A faithful person does not betray another person’s trust, remain disloyal or dishonest, or refuses to serve, give and show up. Truly being faithful has its rewards, it pays heavenly (intended the pun). Think of Abraham, Isaac, Joseph, David, Daniel. Time and time again God positioned them for what he had for them. Sometimes it was a lil blessing, a lot of favor, a smidge of greater responsibility, or a tad bit of a promotion. Abraham left home without knowing where the dern he was going. Joseph didn’t remain faithful cause he knew Pharaoh was gon make him big sis general. Daniel didn’t obey cause he knew the lions didn’t wanna taste his lumps. So just note that their faithfulness came before knowing what would happen. Scripture shows being faithful in the small things matters. That’s scripture boo, Luke 16:10-13. Check it. So maybe God wants us to have it because it demonstrates our trust and obedience to Him (a beautiful reflection) or maybe because the benefits it holds. Faithfulness also makes you trustworthy. When you show up, obey, and steward what you’ve been blessed with consistently you prove you can be trusted with responsibility. God has always been faithful to me. ALWAYS, it’s always me that turns away from Him. Before officially moving to this ugly rinky dink of a city named Houston, I stayed at the Marriott (ofc) in the medical center while visiting for apartment shopping. Outside the window of my room was the hospital I wanted to work at. So I prayed and asked God to make it happen for me. Once I got to this atrocious city, I was struggling to find a job. I applied to almost every hospital in the medical center (except the one I prayed to God bout) and doing horrible in my interviews. Then something told me, after months of failed interviews, to apply to the one I wanted in the first dern place. And I got the first position I applied for. Looking back I doubted that I would get the job because I assumed I had to be a nurse first. While my doubt stopped me from applying, the interviews I was doing terrible at was prepping me for the one that mattered. I still apologize to God for it to this day, and it was two years ago. If only I remembered how faithful he was/is. My issue wasn’t just the doubt eating me whole slowly, but that I let that doubt keep me from moving. But that was the past, what about right now, present day? How does my faithfulness show up in everyday life? I think one is not calling into work when I’m not feeling it. I try to Colossians 3:23-24 it, even when I don’t want to #iserveGod #notyouniggas. Now that’s not to say ion call out but only for real and reasonable situations. When my prayers aren’t being answered on my time, when I feel like He not close, or when the trials getting a lil too tribulating, I keep praying, bible studying, listening, asking. I may miss a day or two but I always try to make up for it. I wasn’t always like that now, especially not in 2020-2023ish. I am not sure where I don’t display it. But that’s the prayer: God please show me where I can improve faithfulness in my life, to you and others. Did you say it with me? Did you mean it or was you just reading what I typed? Read it again and mean it. Without faithfulness our lives won’t flourish the way it should. Faithfulness is continuing to trust, obey, serve, and show up even when the outcome unknown, even when it isn’t immediate, even when youn feel like it, or even when the doubt is getting to you. God has been faithful to me so I want my life to reflect that same consistency back to Him.

Gentleness:

Gentleness and kindness are closely related because of how similar they are. Maybe cousins? Or sisters? This is about gentleness doe. I think practicing gentleness makes it easier for love, kindness, and self-control to show up in how we treat people.  It can also be translated to the Greek word prautēs, carrying the same vibe as gentleness, meekness, and mildness...which is strength that is not harsh or self-assertive. It is not being timid, passive, spineless, or unable to defend yourself. Demonstrating these behaviors allows love, kindness, and self control to flow freely. It allows you to submit and release control…I like to think of it as the essence of not caring *rainbow movement with hands* #likespongebob #imagination. More like, I don’t have to engage every fool who sends an invitation.  The desire to control an outcome is overpowered because when gentleness flows, retaliation is weak. I think I, maybe we, tend to confuse gentleness with weakness but the two are not mutually exclusive. Weakness is a lack of strength, power, or force while gentleness is choosing to look upon others with compassion There is strength in being gentle. By practicing shutting the dern up, and thinking before speaking (proverbs 10:19) or letting God handle what isn’t mine to avenge. Because fighting for control leads to strife. Like knowing someone is deeply miserable but takes it out on you, haterz, or even people who get overwhelmed fast and create tense environments. Let it the frick go and let God handle it. This is why I snitch on ppl to God, especially when I’m mad. Prayer helps with finding a gentle response to cool down and deflect anger (proverbs 15:1). I think God wants this fruit within us because it stops us from becoming miserable, spiteful, bitter, bald people. Imagine holding onto to grudges or letting what you went through change your essence. How is that making anything better? Don’t let them take your sprinkle shimmer sparklings. So the question has to be asked: “is my vibe/aura gentle?” I would like to think so. Old Quiana used to argue with any and everybody. Now, I simply don’t give two moosey fates #invaderzim. Ion let everybody walk over me or talk to me crazy, but I have learned to pick and choose my battles. This fruit has definitely taught me balance is everything, knowing when to politely check a nigga and when to dismiss the nonsense is such a great quality to have. I used to respond to being hurt by activating a plan of retribution or proving I am doing fine without them. But I have learned that hurting and healing with God is so much better. Not only does he handle justice better than me, but sometimes He may choose mercy when I want consequences and victims…read Jonah. He also comforts me and shows me why it’s pointless. I do get irritated quickly tho. I try to check it in the moment in order to speak kindly, avoid being overly harsh, and come from a place of understanding. I wanna be better tho especially with people who get on my everlasting nerves so I must pray…hard. God is so much more gentle and patient with me than I am with others and I want to reflect that.

Self- Control:

Self-control should dominate in all aspects of your life. Like having a yeast infection and dragging your vagina on a sidewalk to get relief. Not trying to say you should force yourself into submission, but it should be present in your life. It helps us control our fleshly tendencies by strengthening our ability to make the right choice when our flesh wants something else. Without this fruit you’re vulnerable…to the devil. Bet you didn’t think about that, while you’re at it dwell on Proverbs 25:28 also. A lack of self-control makes room for wrath, lust, shopping addictions, manipulating others, stealing, etc. In conclusion, without this fruit makes it easier for sin to move in, have kids, and not pay bills or take care of them kids. When exercising this fruit, your guarding every aspect of your life. I think this is why it’s kinda essential for flourishing as a Christian. It’s not about letting your flesh run you, but letting the Holy Spirit take control. Denying your flesh and picking up your cross keeps her in check. There is times when we use our free will to indulge in our flesh tho. For example, those pastors who take money from their church and put it back into themselves. Or people who know they over their weekly budget and still decide to buy something off skims. Or someone who is so dern good at cooking they keep eating and eating till they resemble their favorite animal, an orca. So stop and check yourself when you’re feeling tempted. Talk to God about, rethink how this will affect you or others, and ask yourself how does this reflect Jesus. Thats always the biggest thing. As christians, we are supposed to reflect him and when we do the opposite ppl reject Him, call us a cult, and have all the reasons for not wanting to be associated with Him (Titus 2). Rightfully so, how can you claim to be such a follower of the one and true living God with a lack of self-control? That’s probably one of the reasons God wants us to have it. Another reason could be to build strength. In a way, it shows how much strength you have in your life. Some may have more than others in different areas, but in those times that you are lacking, go to the Man who’s packing. Fortunately, we have someone we can draw strength from and have a foundation we can be strong in. I already know I lack it in areas of my life. Especially shopping. I love to shop. I love the process of buying things, get those things, opening things like it’s Christmas, trying those things on or out, and repeating the cycle over and over again. It’s fun, which makes it easy to ignore my self control. This is why my spending habits have increased over the last three months because of my lack of self control. I pray, but what is praying going to do if i don’t put in the work? So I also act. I try to see how long I can go without spending…unless it’s necessities or talk myself out of believing I needed something. So far these tactics have worked. I still lose my mind and forget about self control, but that’s what walking in Christ looks like. Refusing to stay down when I fall. I think with this fruit God is teaching me how to steward and receive my blessings. Whether it’s money, school, work…I have to control myself from calling out, not spending, and not showing up to class. If Ion learn how to steward what He has already given me, why am I so focused with recording more? I can say tho, I am good at how I respond to my emotions. I am able to know what I am feeling, then act and respond accordingly to those feelings. I have definitely improved tho... I want to value alignment over impulse. I don’t want what feels good for five minutes to interfere with what God is building in my life. Apparently that means, I need to get better at submitting to God.